i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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