4 words: hood of his car
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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