I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to make out with him forever
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
