More tranny stories later!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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