Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
