After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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