Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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