if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize