The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
