shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
