I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
