I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize