he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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