You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My liver just had a heart attack.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
