ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
