the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize