so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
