ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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