My friends, they love my intelligence
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
