Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
