Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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