I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
