My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize