my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
