tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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