I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
