I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize