If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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