your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
