Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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