I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize