Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
