I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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