I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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