So drunk, too bad you don't want this
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
