So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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