you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
