I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
