I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
