Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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