I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
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