Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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