Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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