But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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