im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
