its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
