Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish you could order shots online.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
