Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
well you can't waste a boner
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
