YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
