Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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