is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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