The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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