can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
