I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
