I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
