Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
