:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
soo... how was my night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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