weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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