Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
