I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
